I feel great
I just peed on a car
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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