i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Randomize
