I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
