You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
