You can't motorboat a personality
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
