I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
