piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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