The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
