Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
