is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize