I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
