I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Blood and glitter go together right?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
