Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
