Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize