Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
