I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
