Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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