I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
