I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
