im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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