He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
