Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
