I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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