so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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