just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
