I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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