this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize