girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
where are my eyebrows?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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