just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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