They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
