drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
