yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize