He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
