Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
