Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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