I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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