Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
