yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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