i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
