im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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