If i come over, it means nothing
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
