Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
