Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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