He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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