its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
