lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
