I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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