i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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