There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
