Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize