Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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