I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
