sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
