So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
