Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
