I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
