Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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