Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
