Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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