At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
