nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
