no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
