Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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