it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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