He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
