Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
