so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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