Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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