He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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