I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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