OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
