Well douche your snatch and let's go!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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