is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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