I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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