I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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